Domestic violence is perhaps the main problem of modern families. Unfortunately, the number of cases of domestic tyranny is growing every year. For example, in 2019, 225 people in Ukraine were found guilty of violence. In 2020, this figure increased to 921 people. And these are the only families where women have decided to seek help.
As part of the project "Barrier Free Ukraine for the Deaf: Countering Violence against Women with Hearing Impairments" our organization carries out many tasks, one of which is informing Deaf and Hard of Hearing women and girls about different types of violence, how to prevent it and what to do if you are a victim of domestic violence. The main thing is not to be silent, to seek help, and to save yourself from the offender in all possible ways.
The website of our organization has a widget through which women and girls with hearing impairments can get advice from a psychologist and a lawyer. Sign language interpreters help to communicate freely with them.
What to do if a man turned out to be an offender?
The abuser can be recognized in a husband long before he shows maximum aggression towards a woman. If a man tells a woman what to do, with whom, and where, checks the phone, monitors the geolocation, forces her to report on the money spent – these are the first signals of a typical domestic tyrant. If a woman notices such waves of aggression, threats, and intimidation in her direction – she should think and start acting.
- It is important to do everything without scandals, and even more so, do not tell the offender that you decided to leave him. But it is worth preparing for this.
- Create a new bank card, enter a new phone number and other e-mail, which you will attach to the card. Otherwise, the abuser will learn about the new account simply when he browses your phone. Start saving money at least for the ticket to where you intend to run.
- Ideally – buy a new phone and SIM card, and secretly charge the device, because it may be needed at any time. When fleeing, it is better to leave the old phone at home so that the offender could not track your geolocation.
- Start taking the things you need and belongings to someone you can trust. It is important to do this gradually so as not to arouse any suspicion. This applies to documents and jewelry.
- Know that not everyone will be ready to support you in your decision to run away. There will be friends and relatives who will say that you need to be patient, that everyone lives in such a way, and that you did not get the worst man. Unfortunately, abusers and domestic tyrants know how to make a good impression on themselves and often others can't think badly of them. It is important to protect yourself and not to worry about what others think. Get the support of people you trust.
- The issue of housing is probably the most difficult. It will not be possible to stay with friends or relatives for a long time. Moreover, sooner or later there may be a question of the division of property if you are officially married to the offender. Therefore, be sure to consult a lawyer.
REMEMBER:
- the offender is very dangerous when he realizes that his victim intends to flee;
- do not talk in advance about divorce, lawsuits, child support;
- do not believe the words of the abuser to commit suicide if you leave – it is manipulation;
- do not believe a single word about reconciliation for the sake of children and a peaceful divorce – offenders usually do not change their behavior after the beating;
- take care of your safety and the safety of your children in advance.
Contact the telephone numbers of the hotlines:
- national hotline for the prevention of domestic violence
0 800 500 005, or from mobile 116-123 (works round the clock);
- State Call Center for the Prevention of Domestic Violence 15 47;
- Free Legal Aid Coordination Center – 0 800 213 103.
Our organization is implementing the project "Barrier Free Ukraine for the Deaf: Countering Violence against Women with Hearing Impairments" with the support of the Fund for Social Protection of the Disabled, the Ministry of Social Policy of Ukraine, and the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Ukraine.
Contact us through the widget on the website of the non-governmental organization Public Movement "Social Unity" se.org.ua to get advice from a psychologist and a lawyer – a sign language interpreter will help you.
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