In a healthy relationship, it is important that intimacy is based on mutual consent, desire, and respect. Perceiving sex as a chore can lead to emotional alienation and stress, especially when one party feels forced.
Sex in marriage is a way to be emotionally intimate, but it should not be a tool of pressure.
The concept of “marital duty” has a long and problematic history, linked to religious beliefs and a system of social organization where men dominated and women were limited in money, education, and occupation.
Let's look at the concept of sex as a “marital duty” from different angles:
Historical context.
Historically, women were considered the property of their husbands after marriage. For economic reasons, there was often coercion into unwanted marriages. Until the 20th century, many countries did not recognize the concept of marital rape. Women also had no legal rights to refuse their husbands.
Social factors.
Women are under social pressure to have children. Myths and prejudices are still often found instead of scientific knowledge. Due to excessive social pressure, there is no understanding of one's own body and its needs.
Modern understanding of sex as a duty in marriage.
This concept is gradually becoming a thing of the past, but unfortunately, it is still used by some people to justify violent behavior. Coercion to have sex is contrary to the principles of consent and personal freedom.
Changes in legislation.
In most developed countries, including Ukraine, domestic violence, including sexual violence, is a criminal offense. The victim can receive protection in the form of a ban on the abuser from approaching the victim, eviction of the abuser from the shared housing, referral to programs for victims, and free legal aid.
Abusers often try to influence a person to change their behavior, thoughts or decisions in a way that is favorable to the manipulator.
Signs of manipulation and coercion to have sex:
- Emotional blackmail.
- Threats and intimidation.
- Accusations of “failure to fulfill marital duties”.
- Ignoring refusal.
- Belittling the partner's feelings.
- Manipulating the feeling of guilt.
What is important to understand:
- Coercion into sexual relations within marriage is a form of violence.
- No one is obliged to engage in intimate relationships against their will.
- “Marital duty” cannot be a justification for coercion.
- You have the right to refuse sexual relations at any time.
